


Finally

by Ladystiltskin67



Series: Is This the End, or the Beginning? [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 14.3 coda, Angry Castiel, Castiel Angel of the Lord, Decade of Destiel | 10 Year Anniversary of Lazarus Rising, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Memories, More angst than anything, SPN - Freeform, Season/Series 14, Supernatural - Freeform, Touch-Starved, Whump, casdean - Freeform, queen of the dumpster, spn fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 14:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16452095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladystiltskin67/pseuds/Ladystiltskin67
Summary: Follow Team Free Will 2.0 as they fight the next big bads. Michael may not be off the board after all. And with Heaven in shambles how many more ghosts are they going to have to face?





	Finally

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ ](http://ladystiltskin67.tumblr.com/post/179539681738) [ladystiltskin67](http://ladystiltskin67.tumblr.com/post/179539681738)

Dean seemed… Different. And of course after what happened to him no one expected him to just be ok. But this just felt wrong.

“Ok Cas, get in my head.”

The Angel hesitated. This was usually painful for the recipient and after what Dean’s had to deal with lately, the last thing Cas wanted was to hurt him. But Dean would get his way, he always did.

Cas bracketed Dean’s head with his hands and allowed his power to flow freely but not forcefully. The first flickers of memory began to resonate and it was not at all what was expected. Instead of seeing what Michael had done, the seraph saw himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

“Yea, thanks for that.”

The blade Dean stabbed through his heart felt more like a jab with a boney finger. Were that to happen now it would cause the intended harm. He use to be so strong. Cas could feel the fear that moment caused in the young hunter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The memories began to pour in after that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Cas! Look at me! You were going to help me once, before they drug you back to Bible camp” Cas could feel the desperation, the first hints of longing.

.

He watched himself through Dean’s eyes “I don’t serve man… And I certainly don’t serve you.” Pain.

.

“For what it’s worth I would give anything to not have you do this…” Trust

.

“Hello Dean. What were you… Dreaming about?” Nervousness, annoyance

.

“You should show me some respect.” a shiver followed by more fear. “I dragged you out of hell, I can throw you back in.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His “jedi mind crap” as Dean called it seemed to be having the opposite of its normal effects. The longer it continued, the more the hunter relaxed. And the faster the memories came. Cas saw himself smile at Dean for the first time. He felt the warmth that radiated from Dean’s soul after the first touch. The sadness Dean felt when he thought he was alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to say no.”

“Alright, ya know what Cas? Blow me.”

Surprised as he was at the outburst, Castiel thought of that phrase and what it had meant for several days. Both the Litteral and metaphorical sense intrigued him.

.

“You’re not going to die a virgin. Not on my watch.”

.

“Cas!?”

.

“I learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas gripped Dean’s arm and the memories came faster and more sporadic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Maybe angels don’t need to breathe?” the pure panic that struck them both knocked the breath from their lungs.

.

Dean folded the bloody wet trench coat cursing his lost friend. The pain and sorrow was thick in his voice.

.

“I’ve known you for years! You just met yourself!”

.

“Nobody cares that you’re broken Cas!”

.

“Do I look like good luck to you?”

_“Cursed or not I’d rather have you.”_

.

“I prayed to you Cas! Every night!”

.

“I **_need_** you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Years worth of shared memories relived through touch. Suddenly after the memories of purgatory the feelings changed. There was more longing. Sobering waves pulsed through them. Memories of pain and panic were laced with relief, fondness… Sometimes there would be a familiar spark that Cas couldn’t place.

Their lives played back to him through the others eyes. Castiel realized he was a focal point. When the mark started to consume Dean it appeared that he often thought of Cas. Of the calming feelings his presence would bring. Of how Dean broke after he nearly killed Cas and how well he hid it.

When Amara took over and Dean’s focus was on saving Cas after the possession and how happy he was that Cas was ok. How he never said anything but he was **_so angry_** at Chuck for not being a better Dad for Cas. How he just ran away and made himself happy and didn’t even bother to fix the mess his kids had made. Didn’t bother to apologize to the one son who actually deserved it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I could go with you?” They’d hugged and Cas remembers it vividly, but seeing it from Dean’s perspective etched the moment further into his brain. Dean had barely been able to hold back his tears as he poured as much of himself into the embrace as possible. A sharp stab of regret filled the angel’s senses.

.

“Dean! You’re alive!” Another embrace. Warmth and safety… A blush of embarrassment at having a witness.

.

Every moment they fought the British men of letters… Telling Mick to “Stay away from Cas!”

.

He felt Dean lose him when he decided to go with Kelly. How Dean’s heart had hardened just a bit more to keep it from breaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel knew what was coming next and he tried to pull away but a strong hand clamping down on his wrist prevented him from breaking the connection.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Noooooo!”

Dean dropped to his knees next to Castiel’s lifeless body. Tears streaking his face as he looked to the heavens hoping, praying Cas was there.

So much pain. Emptiness. Not much different from where Cas had spent his time in death.

.

He felt Dean’s outbursts. Even after all the battles he’d fought, nothing compared to the wrath of Dean Winchester.

“You might be able to forget that, but I can’t!” Dean cried himself to sleep every after that. Once the dam had broke, there was no going back….

.

Dean plunged the syringe into his chest. _Dead or alive it doesn’t matter anymore… Not now… Not when you’re gone_

“You have changed. And you tell people that it’s not a big deal. You tell people that you’ll work through it, but you know that you won’t. You want to die.”

.

“Cas… Is that really you?”

“Welcome home pal.” Dean’s arms wrapped around his shoulders as he pressed his face close. There was an aura of relief surrounding them as Dean breathed in the scent that was just so uniquely Cas.

“How long was I gone?”

“Too damn long.” Cas knew that feeling. It pierced through him like an angel blade through the heart. It was familiar, warm, consuming… Love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The years of being around Dean had seemed to left a mark on the angel as his initial reaction burst through as anger.

He yanked away from Dean turning his back to the brothers.

“Cas?”

“You lied to me!”

“Cas…. I didn’t lie… I didn’t want to complicate-”

 ** _“Enough_** ** _!”_** Castiel’svoice reverberated off the concrete walls. And then he dropped to barely above a whisper.

“All this time… I thought… You called me a _brother_ … You… Even after I told you…”

“Cas… Can we talk? Just the two of us?” Dean watched as the angel wordlessly grabbed the keys to baby and headed to the garage.

“I guess we’ll be back in a bit…” he addressed his brother as he followed the heated angel to the car.

They didn’t drive far until they found a clearing that was deemed fit for this particular conversation. Castiel had barely listened to the car shift into park before he was climbing out.

“Cas….?”

“Why didn’t you tell me? After all this time did I not mean enough to you… I understand that this is unconventional…”

“Cas. Stop. Look, I messed up ok? But I’m telling you now.” Crowding into the angel’s space he used a firm hand to turn him around.

“Im sorry Dean. I didn’t mean to get angry-”

“It’s ok Cas.” Dean still had a hand on him as he spoke.

“What do we do now?” Cas asked nervously

_“What do you want?”_

Cas opened his mouth to elaborate when something screamed at him that this wasn’t right.

“Come again?” Cas tilted his head and stared into Dean’s eyes.

**_“What do you want Castiel?”_ **

His response came out as a terrified whisper

_“Michael…_


End file.
